


The Truth Will Set Us Free

by LadyEkaterina



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Prison, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEkaterina/pseuds/LadyEkaterina
Summary: After finding out that Mickey deliberately got himself incarcerated with Ian (Season 9 deleted scenes), Ian has nightmares until he comes to terms with what's happened





	The Truth Will Set Us Free

_Ian was running down the street as fast as he could. As he ran he noticed his strides weren't as long as usual. He caught a glimpse of himself in a car window. That was why. He was what, 15 here? OK so this was a memory. What was going on? Oh yeah, it was the day Monica had come home and he’d run to Mickey for the first time. And Mickey had met him at Kash’s and they had.... yeah he remembered._  
_He arrived at the Milkovich house and banged on the door. But it wasn’t Mickey who answered this time, it was Terry. This wasn’t right._  
_And suddenly he was inside the house watching Terry beat the living daylights out of Mickey. Ian found he couldn’t move. He was stuck rooted to the spot as he watched Mickey get beaten almost unconscious. Then Svetlana arrived. And Ian tried to close his eyes but Terry barked at him to keep them open.  
_ _And then Ian was watching his younger self watch Mickey and Svetlana. And he remembered wishing he’d felt brave enough then to do something. Anything._

_The scene changed. Ian looked around. This was Yev’s christening. Suddenly Terry threw the table over and launched at Mickey smashing at his face. Ian waited for himself to come through the door to attack Terry, but again he just couldn't move and could only watch. Then the Alibi faded and there was just Mickey on the ground. Beaten and bloodied. Ian tried to shout his name but nothing came out. Mickey seemed so far away. Ian couldn’t move to get to him. Out of the darkness appeared four Mexican gangbangers. They picked up Mickey’s legs and dragged him off into the darkness laughing. Ian was suddenly alone.  
_

He tossed fitfully in his bunk and Mickey heard him mumble and moan. He got out of his bunk and tried to gently shake Ian.

“Ian.”

No response.

_Ian was at the Mexican Border. He wasn’t alone. Caleb and Trevor were on either side of him pulling him away. He turned back to look at the desert border and saw Mickey covered in blood and bruises staring at him before he was dragged away again._

__

__

_Silent tears pouring down his cheeks. He finally managed to make a sound.  
“Mickey.” he whispered. _

“Ian!”

Louder this time, Mickey was standing on his own bunk shaking his boyfriend awake. Suddenly Ian came to sobbing and threw himself into Mickey’s arms, pushing them both to the floor. Mickey said nothing, just held Ian tight. Like he had every night since the nightmares started. And he still had no idea why.  
“Same nightmare?” Mickey didn’t know why he kept asking this. Ian wasn’t telling him anything.  
“I don’t know. I don’t remember” Ian lied.  
“Do you think you need to see the shrink?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe. Can we just stay here for now?”  
“Sure.” Mickey held him close. He pulled his blanket off the bunk and draped it over then two of them. Slowly Ian’s breathing returned to normal and the sobs subsided. They sat like that for the remainder of the night, Mickey blinking back the tears.

That morning, Ian went to find the shrink. He walked past her door several times before finally taking a deep breath and going in. Because of his bipolar, he had shrink privileges meaning he could drop in if he needed to.  
“Hi Ian what’s up?”  
“I’m having nightmares. The same one over and over. Every night“ And he sat down and finally told her everything.  
“When did they start?”  
“9 nights ago.”

The shrink had had several sessions with Ian already. Part of his incarceration program was regular meets and so she was pretty sure she knew the trigger. 

“The night after you found out that Mickey had voluntarily gone to the police?”  
Ian nodded.  
She looked at him “They're guilt dreams Ian. You don’t need me to tell you that. You've talked about nothing else in our sessions since you found out.“  
“So what do I do?”  
She sighed.  
“Talk to Mickey."  
“I can’t. I’ve done too much to him already. Can’t you give me something to make then go away?"  
“It’s the only way they'll stop Ian. I’m sorry.”  
Ian got up and walked out abruptly, slamming the door. He couldn’t tell Mickey. Not after everything he’d already been through for Ian. 

Ian stayed away from Mickey all day. He snapped at anyone who spoke to him. It was only when Big Dave pushed him up against the wall that he knew he had to do something. Big Dave was actually a really nice guy. But he did not like being disrespected. 

That night the two lay in their separate bunks.  
“Mickey?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can I talk to you about something?”  
Mickey breathed out. Finally. Big Dave had been to see him that evening and Mickey was now really worried.  
“Of course. You wanna come down here?”  
“OK.“ But he didn’t get in the bunk. He sat on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest.  
“Mickey, I lied. I do remember the dreams. I have to watch you be beaten up by your father or get taken away by some Mexican gangbangers over and over and it’s all my fault.“  
“What are you talking about 'your fault'?”

Ian took a deep breath.  
“Your dad tried to kill you twice because of me. I know you chose to give up your freedom to be with me, Mick. I’ve known for over a week. At god knows what risk. And all I’ve done is think about me and hurt you. Everything bad that happened to you has been because of me. I’m so sorry. I’ve been so selfish. You deserve better.”  
Ian started to cry. He tried not to but the tears rolled down his cheeks. He dropped his head onto his arms as the sobs escaped.

“Is that what you think?” Said Mickey quietly, sitting up in bed.  
“It’s the truth.”  
“Not to me.”  
Mickey had got out of bed and was moving to kneel in front of him. He put his hands on Ian's arms

"Look at me." commanded Mickey.  
Ian looked up with a tear stained face.

“You wanna know the best moment in my life? It was after Yev’s christening. I know you remember what happened at the Alibi?”  
Ian nodded in confusion.  
“Remember how we went back to the house? We knew Terry was in jail and there wasn't anything more that could hurt us. Or so I thought then. We were safe. We showered together washing all the blood off and trying not to hurt each other further.”  
Ian smiled at the memory.  
“And then we went to bed. We were both so sore and tired, remember? I woke up the next morning with your arm around me and your hand over mine. I remember sitting up, having a gulp of beer and then when I looked back at the bed, there you were. Still asleep. You were there. With me. And I remember thinking that whatever happened, it would be worth it to wake up with you next to me.“  
Mickey was glad it was pretty dark. He wasn’t great at talking about his feelings. He swallowed and continued.

“And the worst moment? It wasn't one of the times Terry tried to kill me - That's just being a Milkovich. It wasn't when you finished with me. It wasn't even when you left me at the border and I thought I might never see you again. Those were pretty bad times. But the worst came only a couple of days after the best. It was when Fiona came over and explained what bipolar depression was. It was the moment I understood that you were suffering and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I couldn’t take the pain away. That was the worst.”

Mickey stare bore into Ian's eyes.

"I can’t deal with that, Ian. If you're in trouble or you're in pain, I will always try and help you. Watching you have these nightmares has been torture. But at least I was able to wake you up." He breathed out heavily.  
"Everything I do will always be 'because of you'. Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Loving you gives me all the freedom I ever need. Nothing we have gone through can ever take away the joy I have from waking up with you. From seeing you smile. So if you’re in trouble or in pain, I will come because i can’t bear to not be with you. “  
There was a long silence as Ian digested everything Mickey had said. He felt overwhelmed by the love he felt for this Southside thug who had so completely stolen his heart.  
Then Ian spoke softly.  
“I only feel like I can be really me when you’re with me. I love you Mickey.”  
“And I love you too.”  
“When we get out of here, I’m gonna make it all up to you Mick I promise”  
“Will you suck my dick whenever I want?”  
Ian laughed, despite the tears. “Definitely!”  
“Then I’m in, fire crotch!”  
Mickey took Ian's face in his hands, stroked his hair around his ear and kissed his forehead. “C’mere” he murmured pulling Ian close to him. He kissed him softly. “Come on. You must be shattered. Time for bed.” Ian crawled into the bottom bunk. Mickey smiled and got in beside him. He lay on his side facing Ian and stroked his face again. Ian kissed his hand.  
"You wanna turn over Mickey?" he asked shyly.  
"You'll be OK?"  
"Yeah. You're here."  
"Always, Gallagher."  
Mickey rolled over and felt Ian wrap himself around him, interlacing their fingers. Within minutes they were both asleep. Mickey's last thought was that he had to give Dave a carton of cigarettes the next day.

_Ian was running down the road wondering why his strides were smaller than usual. When he got to the Milkovich house he pulled Mickey out with him and the two ran together hand in hand. When Ian next looked at Mickey he was the age he was now and he was smiling at him. They were somewhere, anywhere. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were together._


End file.
